Products Reflected In "Flower-beards: Summer's Hottest Trend? Or Death Sentence?"
Coil + Drift
Worth & Worth
Coil + Drift
Worth & Worth
Tyler was an awesome dude and I miss him terribly. He had an ethereal pixie spirit quality to him. He, of course, would say he simply had a “Joie de Vivre.” Which was in fact tattooed in comic sans across his back. Just above his tattoo of Barney Rubble as Winston Churchill making a ‘victory’ sign while doing an ollie. I can still remember the day we were in Wicker Park and that fucker came up with his idea for the Himalayan salt app. “The perfect thing for my ‘Bloody Sundays,’” he screeched. “Bloody Sundays” was the name of Tyler’s Bloody Mary parties he had on Sundays, post brunch. “Blunch,” he called it. “A mixture of Brunch and Lunch,” which was absurd of course because brunch already was comprised partly of lunch. But that was Tyler!
Tyler made an obscene amount of money on that app. He spent close to $40,000 on a house boat in a canal in Prinsengracht* that he only went on once, and dumped the rest of the money into a start-up called “Castrator,” an app that let you rate the casts of people who’ve broken bones. The jury is still out on that one, although it was enough for Tyler to start demanding that we refer to him as a “Lifestyle-Tech Artisan.”
Tyler was always on a quest to stand apart from those around him (at any cost). Just last week, while the two of us were walking to the Mission District to pick up my artisan-handcrafted umbrella, Tyler mumbled, “two bowties.” He stopped suddenly and I didn’t realize it until I was already inside the locally sourced sorghum popcorn pop-up store just down the street. Noticing I was now by myself, I looked back and saw Tyler, still in the street, jotting down notes furiously in his “A Touch of Freud” humanely sourced moleskin journal. He looked up and noticed me. He waved the journal in the air crying, “My look will be visual music!!!”
“What grand notion have you ‘eureka’d’ this time?” I sniffed. Tyler started gesticulating wildly, much like the time he was stung by either Alfredo or Princess T’Kia (it was difficult to tell them apart), part of the African honeybee hive that he employed (yes he paid them!!) to make his cardamom-infused essence of honey knee cream. He started squealing about how he had been looking for a way to further express his individuality in this man-made world of calculatedly branded faux bullshit marketed to the mindless, gullible, bourgeois who don’t understand how their sense of being “unique” has been cynically crafted and manipulated from afar by capitalists who are complicit in this self-serving cycle of selfish consumerism. His solution, he proffered, was that he would wear not one, but two double-sided, 100% pure Welsh angora bowties (hand crafted by James and Jesse McClintcock of “Gentlemen’s Division” clothiers) on top of each other.
He was so excited, he decided to abandon me there and to rush over to Shoreditch High Street and tell Demitri and Countess Vachon (who were at their shoppe, “Philosophical Waistcoats”) about his grand idea. I let him go, not knowing it would be the last time I saw him. He never made it to the vest store. Apparently, according to the police report, as he was on his way over to the Greek Yogurteria/tattoo parlor in the Pearl District, it all happened.
The news of Tyler’s death was shocking. But sadly, in today’s cruel, judgmental world, not at all surprising. As you may have already heard, some “Normies” beat him to death. It’s really just too awful. Particularly knowing that later that night I was supposed to meet him in East Austin at Corinne and Yeorgi’s. They were having a “Girls” marathon (to celebrate Lena Dunham’s 100,000th tweet) and Tyler absolutely worshipped “Girls.” Upon further studied pensive reflection, Tyler certainly didn’t deserve the kind of fate that befell him that night. I mean, yes, some of us thought that flower beard thing he insisted on walking around in was stupid, but come on, beaten to death? Couldn’t they just have punched him in his smug face a couple of times? It seems a bit harsh of a reaction. Again, yes, wearing flowers in your beard is a pathetic way of drawing attention to yourself and demanding the world see you as a precious, creative, unique creature deserving of respect and awe. But murdering that person?! I mean come on now, that’s sooo unoriginal!
Photography by @eliography
Book Reviews by Amber Tamblyn
Amber Tamblyn is a whiskey drinking, small toothed-having, great butt-rocking actress and author, born and raised in Los Angeles,California. On top of working with Blake on the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants films, she can also be seen sleeping over at Blake’s house and getting royally irritated at being woken up at 7am to try a batch of cupcakes Blake just made.Read More
The Bow Tie
Once upon a time in the South, a few good men gathered for a wedding. These men looked over a set of bow ties with a sense of awe, respect, and (most predominantly)confusion. In a matter of minutes, they needed these loose pieces of unrealized cloth to transform into something akin to timeless elegance.Read More
Featured Artisan: Orlando Palacios
There is at least one surefire argument for the case that the Jazz Age was the coolest sartorial period in American history: the hats. A mark of the masses until a half- century ago, the well-crafted chapeau has since receded into the clutches of the impossibly cool. Today, the style statement is largely reserved for icons.Read More